Dilapitation Conga: Week 34-35 of Jiu-Jitsu

I didn’t train, just kept being ill or breaking my body in tragicomic ways. Here are some of my favourite health fuck-ups for weeks 34 and 35. CW: this text includes some icky body stuff.

1. Flu Number 2

Summer cottages are overrated. My partner’s family are a delight to hang out with though, even when I have to do it in the old family home turned vacation house. This Midsummer at the cottage, I was swiftly introduced to 564 mosquitoes and the second round of Some Respiratory Infection thingy. Mosquito bites itched like fuck, and I spent a lot of my time napping with a light fever in one of the upstairs bedrooms. I dragged myself to the doctor the next Monday and got three more days off work. Which meant more time off training. Bleh.

2. Rotting Legs

While not trying to get pneumonia (=not working or training) four of the mosquito bites turned into wounds. Then into bigger wounds. Then they started to leak yellow puss. I’m no professional, but this looked like another trip to the doctor. Where I went. On the first day of my annual leave from work.

“Those are completely infected”, the nice young doctor said when I presented my injuries. I thanked them for the input, and was given antibiotics and some megaeffective Flesh-Eating Bacteria Fighting Cream. Right now my legs have stopped looking like biohazard waste, which is delightful.

3. The Pulled Back Muscle

Bored from the sick leave and mat ban, I tried to lift my partner for a laugh. The dude is not exactly light, and would be the first to admit to that. Besides, I was only PRETENDING to be lifting him off the ground.

“You’re silly. And do stop, this is not gonna end well.”

“Oh, lighten up”, I joked, dragged on my partner’s waist a bit too enthusiastically, and pulled a muscle in my lower back.

Lying on my stomach on our bed, an ice pack on my back, I thought I probably deserved everything I get.

4. Back on the Mat, Didn’t Die

The day I wrote this, I finally made it back on the mat, nervous of how my body would react. I made it: throat didn’t swell up, didn’t faint, felt tired but okay afterwards. Managed to learn a bit more about Americanas. Let’s hope this trajectory continues.

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